Things are moving along here in the land down unda! My companion for this transfer is none other than Elder LEE from Busan, South Korea! He's a pretty funny, energetic, and fresh from Korea! This is about his 3rd week in Australia and 12th week speaking English. Training has been.... fun... Haha I'm just used to having companions who are more experienced than me, know the drill, know the rules, what they should and shouldn't be doing and we're able to brainstorm ideas for our area. Well since Elder Lee has never been a missionary before, everything that's usually shared between 2 missionaries has fallen on me... Also since he's still working on English, I've just been the mouthpiece for us and a translator at times. Which is good for my Korean. But I've also realized how bad my Korean actually is and how much I still don't know... Let's just say that GoogleTranslate has been our best friend.
So how's the missionary work in Bankstown? Well let's just say that like all my other areas, I've come in right after they've baptized all the people they were teaching. Also, in our ward there's us and another set of Elders who already knows the members and the area. So often we show up to member's houses and they say that the other Elders have stopped by already... There IS, however, a golden place for a Korean speaker like me and a Korean like Elder Lee.. This magical place is called Campsie. Our area covers half the town and it's basically little China/KOREA. So here, I've:
- Had my first Korean rejection (that one hurt a little more than other rejections)
- Gotten pretty discouraged and frustrated with my Korean
- Found an awesome Korean restaurant that we've eaten at 5 times or so already
- Found a local Korean newspaper called "일요신문"/"The Sydney Korean Herald" &
"한국신문"/"Korean Today"
- Learned that I truly, deeply love Kimchi
So this week has been a pretty rough week for me, personally. However, during a Stake Priesthood Meeting yesterday I had something hit me and I finally understood something, hopefully. A sort of answer to my prayers, frustration, and confusion hit me during that same Priesthood Meeting. I'll be honest, I've questioned a lot about what in the world is a Navajo with a Mexican name who studied Arabic in Uni doing in Australia trying to learn Korean?? Especially in a place where Korean is all but useless in regards to missionary work (Next to no Korean members, no Korean ward or branch, and just no luck with teaching Koreans the Gospel). I mean, the most LOGICAL reasoning that I've come up with is that Sister Escamilla is a Korean living in Sydney. BUT that's a long shot too, and not all that logical. So back to square 1.
Lately, from Conference talks I've listened to or other songs, I've heard a lot about God not always answering our prayers in the way we think, or at all, or not giving us the blessings we desire when we desire them. Which I'm cool with, that's what Faith is. Trusting that Heavenly Father knows what He's doing, that He knows best, and trust in His timing.
So, where does this lead my thoughts? So hopefully this makes sense. There were things said during the talks last night mixed with my own personal studies that helped me understand why we don't always receive answers to prayers or the blessings we desire. We know that this life is "a time to prepare to meet God" (Alma 12:24). For "this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent." (John 17:3). So it is full of trials, pain, sorrow, tests, "that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (D&C 122:7). With the ultimate intent to "be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." (3 Nephi 12:48).
Sometimes, often times actually, Heavenly Father wants to see HOW BAD we actually want it. How bad do we want to receive an answer to our prayers. How bad do we want our life to improve. How bad do we want a testimony. How bad do we want the blessings. For Joseph Smith, he wanted to know which church was true, but he didn't know how to find out. So he went to the best thing he knew to do and began studying the Bible. Whether he started at Genesis or at Matthew, I don't know, but regardless I don't think he happened to be flipping through the Bible and came upon James 1:5 - the scripture that would inspire him to go into the grove of trees. Instead, he studied and it wasn't until he came across James 1:5, 1,538 pages later, he finally knew what he should do. Why didn't God inspire him sooner in Matthew, Exodus, Acts, or any other book? I believe that it is because Heavenly Father wanted to see how badly he really wanted to know. For the work that he would be entrusted with, it would be "no fleeting task". So He needed someone who truly had that desire.
For the early Saints and the many many struggles they had with establishing the church and eventually crossing the States to what would become Utah. Why did they have to go through that? If God is all powerful, why couldn't he have just established them in Mississippi, the future Zion? Protect them from the mobs? Keep them from having to cross the entire US by wagon? Well, in order to be able to establish His church, Heavenly Father would need people who were firm in the faith and who wouldn't give up. So as a result of these trials He will have (in a less harsh way) in a way "weeded out the weak". So likewise, if we are not receiving the blessings and answers we desire, He is testing us. He wants to know how badly we want it. He doesn't need a bunch a quitters that give up after 1 prayer. When things get hard, He doesn't need people who complain the entire journey. He doesn't need half members - "No man can serve two masters" (Matt 6:24). In one of Elder Holland's addresses, he gives his interpretation of the Savior's encounter with the 12 Apostles after they had gone "a fishing" (John 21). In regards to after the Savior questioned Peter the 3rd time "Do you love me", Elder Holland describes the dialogue as,
"Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world."
So whether or not I ever have success in my mission, my mission will have been a test of how badly I want to have success and learn the language, and ultimately, a test of how much I truly love Him.
If you read this far, thank you for indulging me and hopefully you got something from it. If not, well you just got a sneak peak into the inside of my head. Hope your week blessed with some Korean food. I highly recommend. Especially the Kimchi. 사랑해요!!
Elder Brandon Escamilla
에스카미야 장로
Australia Sydney Mission
호주 시드니 선교부
